A Year In Review

This will probably be just me musing back on this past year. It helps me to see that I've been through a lot and that whatever is ahead of me I can make it through. So let's start with the things that made this year bad.

- I moved out on my own. Now this is will be listed under my good things of the year, but this is a bad thing because I've had to become the thing that I've always tried to avoid. Become serious/adult.

- I am a sandwich delivery driver. While I love my job, it's not what I want to do forever and I fear that if things in the economy don't improve, I'll be driving until retirement.

- I've become disconnected from my family. Being about 250 miles away makes it a bit difficult to see my family. Plus I hate talking on telephones. It feels so impersonal, so there's not a lot of communication that goes on between me and my family. It saddens me, especially when I hear about my dad and think about how I probably only have a few years left with him.

- My dad and brother have disowned each other. While at times this is amusing and at the best of times it's expected, at the worst of times this causes my mom and myself to feel split. Both are stupid for being such babies about the whole situation and I want to tell them as much but nobody listens to the youngest.

- No more school. I have graduated from college with my Bachelor degree. Most of you reading would call me crazy. But for me, school was my safe-place. It was where I could really be me and I was challenged everyday. Everyday was a new experience and yet it had my need for a routine satisfied. I miss taking tests and writing papers. I guess that's part of the reason why I've been writing in this blog. I miss being given work to do and feeling the accomplishment of completing an assignment. I miss talking to my professors and learning. I miss it all.

- Work. Like I said earlier, I like my job and at times I love it, but I want more. I've earned more and yet I'm being beaten out of entry-level positions by people who have 5-10 years of experience in the field. Welcome to the economy where the richer get richer and the poorer get poorer. Oh well, at least I have a job, I know a lot of people can't even say that and it's a sad day in the USA when people who want to work can't because greedy corporations don't feel like hiring more people or paying their people better so that they can go out and spend and boost the economy which then creates jobs, but that's another rant for another day.

So those are the not so good parts of this past year for me. On to the good things that have happened. Cause you always want to end happy (if you can).

- I graduated. I love the accomplishment that I have earned. I'm very proud of myself. I'm the 3rd person on my dad's side of the family to get a college degree and I'm the 3rd person on my mom's side as well. I hope to be able to get into my field of work sometime in this upcoming year. Maybe tax season will help me out with that.

- I'm living on my own. I'm free to be my own person. Away from the parents and now in charge of taking care of myself. I'm still learning all the tricks to surviving on my own but I've got a good bit of it figured out. My wonderful fiance has helped me where I needed the help.

- I've got amazing friends who would help me out with anything. My friends are some of the best in the world. I may be a bit biased but I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. I wouldn't be able to make it without them and I don't tell them enough. So my friends who read this, know that you have earned a spot in my heart and that if I call you friend that means I would willingly give my life for yours. That's how much you mean to me. I just wanted ya'll to know that I appreciate how you have my back and I want you to know (if you didn't already) that I've got yours.

- I have an amazing fiance who brightens my world and has helped me to better understand myself but also better understand my beliefs. He is wonderful and I couldn't imagine my world without him in it. Everyday with him is the best day of my life and I can't wait to get to the day where he and I are bound together in a bond so solid and secure that only divine intervention could break us apart. He's made me a better person and loves me for all of my faults. In fact he tells me often that my faults are the best part of me because they are who I really am. He's helped me understand my life and my religion in a way that no one else could. He is my other half, my better half....and I pray that we are blessed one day to create a little person who is the best parts of us both. This year would not have been nearly as wonderful as it has been without him here to hold me when I cried, to push me when I was scared of taking that first step, to listen to me rant, to trust me with his heart, and to ask me to spend the rest of my life with him. He is my whole world and he has made me better for it.

So, this has been my best and worst parts of this year. Here's to next year being as wonderful and terrible as the last (since the terrible parts make the wonderful parts all the more enjoyable and wonderful). See you in the new year. God bless you and keep you and yours.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

If You Don't Like It, Don't Read It!!!!!!

My favorite hobby is people watching. I find it very interesting to watch people and just observe them. I also listen to those around me. I don't really talk much mainly because I'd rather learn how others observe the world than interact. Also, I'm not knowledgeable about most things so I live by the wise words "it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" (Unknown). And yet, through all of my observations, I find that most people don't actually know anything about what they're talking. It entertains me to listen to people talk at each other. I say 'talk at' because to actually speak and have a discussion requires that you talk to and listen to the people you are conversing with. Most times I just want people to talk less and listen more.

Now don't get me wrong...I'm all for people expressing their opinions, but I believe that if you get to express your opinion freely then I get to express my opinion freely as well, even if you don't like my opinion. So many people miss the point of having opposing opinions. The goal is to express different viewpoints and to expand our understanding of those that exist outside our safety box. People shelter themselves from everything that disagrees with their beliefs and they have the magical picture box turned to the channel that will repeat their own opinions back to them and say to themselves 'see I'm right'. While that may make us happy, it does nothing for the benefit of society. We get stuck in ruts and never learn how to express our opinions. I have this problem a lot. I find that I can't always explain what's in my mind clearly. But I've started listening to those people who disagree with my opinions and thoughts; through their expressions I learn what they believe and I can better explain myself since I see the world from their perspective. We can always use a step outside of ourselves and see the world from another perspective. That's why from time to time I like to sit on my couch upside down and look around. You'd be surprised how flipping something upside down can drastically change the way it is observed.

BUT....yes, I'm about to possibly contradict myself a bit. Maybe. While you should allow others to express themselves without interruption...this does not apply to the magical picture box(tv) or the magical talking box(radio) or even the magical connected box(computer/internet). If you don't want to see something, listen to something or read something you don't have to. You can change the channel, station, or website with a click or push of a button. If you don't want to hear that new rap song about drugs and hookers....don't listen. If you don't want to look at a that nude picture of whoever....don't look. If you don't want to watch Keith Olbermann poke fun at Bill O'Reilly or watch Bill O'Reilly yell at another guest....DON'T WATCH.

Also, if you don't like something, don't try to ban it. That just gives it credibility. If you don't like it, don't look/read/watch/listen/whatever. And teach your children your morals and let everyone else teach their children their morals. So the moral of the story: CLOSE YOUR ENDLESSLY FLAPPING FLAPPER AND LISTEN, AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T LOOK AT IT.